


Winners and Losers

by EndoratheWitch



Series: Gotham Nights [16]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Batman: The Animated Series, Harley Quinn (Comics), Suicide Squad (2016), The Joker - Fandom
Genre: Arson, Bets & Wagers, Crossdressing, Drinking, F/M, Flirting, Guns, Harley and Joker in loving relationship, No abuse, Oral Sex, Scary Clowns, bar violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-14
Updated: 2018-08-14
Packaged: 2019-06-27 08:45:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15681972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EndoratheWitch/pseuds/EndoratheWitch
Summary: Joker and Harley make a silly, competitive bet.





	Winners and Losers

Joker lay on his stomach, purple socked feet in the air as he slowly kicked his feet back and forth, his intense gaze on Harley. He grinned as he watched Harley struggle with her dark pink corset. Joker on the other hand, was dressed only in his socks, sock garters and purple boxers decorated with little batman symbols (a pair he had found at a Gotham tourist shop.) His sharp chin rested on his folded hands, his elbows digging into the mattress of their bed as he watched her, studying every line, every curve of her body, and every moment of her struggle with the corset. 

Harley grunted as she pulled the buckles across her abdomen, turning around in a circle as she tried to reach for the other strap that dangled just out of her reach. 

She hissed and muttered. “Stupid thing…” 

Joker chuckled watching her, grinning from ear to ear. 

Harley spun around and narrowed her eyes at him. “What are you laughing at clown boy! You know you could get up and help me.” 

Joker grinned and rolled onto his back, resting the ankle of one leg on the knee of the other and dropped his head over the side of the bed, gazing at her upside down with a giggle. 

“I’m laughing at nothing, everything...you.” He chuckled again at the adorable way she wrinkled her nose in her annoyance as he cooed. “And why should I help you? It’s far more fun watching you spin around like a dog chasing its tail.” He gave her a large, toothy grin. 

Harley stuck her tongue out at him which only made Joker laugh and stick his tongue out in return. He smiled as his eyes traveled up her legs to her rear. She was wearing a pair of ruffled white panties. The panties rode low on her rounded hips while the ruffles ran around the entirety of the panties. She was also wearing a garter belt, the snaps of which held up a pair of pink and purple vertical striped stockings. Her breasts were barely covered by a purple top, the front of which was open to the middle of her breastbone; the corset, once in place, would hold the hold thing together, otherwise she would be spilling out all over the place he thought and that meant he would have to share her breasts. And Joker didn’t share. The other part of the blouse she wore that he liked, was that the sleeves that rode low leaving her creamy shoulders bare. The shirt also gave her outfit a “rumpled from bed look” which he liked…he enjoyed having Harley in bed, a lot. 

He grinned at his own dirty thoughts when she turned away from him and the ruffles on her panties jiggled, her hips cocked to the side as she struggled with the corset. His gaze lingered on her ass, and he licked his lips as he contemplated his hands on her before his gaze traveled up again to follow the slope of her back, then focused once more on her breasts. They jiggled slightly as she turned around. 

Joker chuckled deciding to annoy her...because. “I bet I could get dressed faster than you,” he said with a wide grin with his head still hanging upside down. 

Harley had just reached for her skirt. The little short skirt was black with layers of ruffles underneath that allowed it to fluff out. She stepped into the skirt, pulled it up her legs, and stopped as she brought the skirt to her waist so that she could properly glare at Joker. “No, you couldn’t.” 

Joker grinned just a little wider, giving her that wicked smile that said he was up to something, or planning something mischievous, or simply just being a pest. “I bet you I could get dressed faster in one of your outfits, AND get someone to buy me a drink because I would be extremely pretty.” He stuck his tongue out to emphasize his point--and just to be annoying. 

Harley zipped up her skirt and raised her brow at her lover, a smile tugging at her lips as she stepped closer to the bed with her hands on her hips. She wanted to laugh; he looked so ridiculous with his head hanging over the edge upside down dressed only in boxers and socks, though she loved the look. She found those stupid sock garters he liked to wear incredibly sexy, though she had no idea why. She looked down at him amused. “Oh you could, could you? Well I bet I could dress up like a man in your clothes, look better AND get a couple of phone numbers.” 

Joker grinned, his eyes dancing merrily as he whispered. “Wanna bet, for real?” 

Harley narrowed her eyes. “What are the wagers?” 

Joker laid his hands on his chest, his fingers intertwined as he gazed at her legs upside down. “I win, you are going to give me a spa treatment for the weekend...the works, and you are going to do it all naked, all weekend, no clothes allowed.” 

Harley smirked. “All right and if I win...same conditions, naked spa treatment...including feeding me, AND I want singing.” 

Joker chuckled. “Deal.” 

Harley sighed looking annoyed with him. “Why do you always want to try to beat me at things?” 

Joker laughed. “Because sweets, the rewards are always so much fun!” 

He reached out and grabbed her legs tugging her close until his head was between her legs. He leaned up and pressed his mouth against her, the silk of the panties was between him and her sex. The soft material brushed against his lips. He could feel the heat of her against his mouth, the scent of her, warm and welcoming. He grinned, a little preview of winning the bet didn’t seem like as bad idea as he licked her regardless of the cloth between him and his goal. He pressed his lips against her and blew a warm brush of his breath filtered through the panties. His hot breath brushed against her sensitive sex. 

Harley made a small “meep” sound. Immediately she wanted him; he drove her crazy. She loved him so much and he was such a jerk sometimes she thought with a grin as his mouth moved against her forcing a long, slow groan of pleasure. She felt the vibration of Joker’s laugh as she purred while her eyes half closed. “You’re a jerk.” 

“That’s part of my charm darling,” he breathed against her while his hands slid up to tug on the ruffles of her panties. 

Harley’s eyes fluttered with pleasure as he continued to mouth her, pressing his tongue against the silken panties, searching for the perfect spot. She took a step back from him, but Joker grabbed her legs and hissed from under her skirt. “Take them off Harls and come back here.” 

Harley giggled and stepped back just enough to slide the panties down her legs. Joker grinned watching her, his head still upside down. Once she was out of the ruffled garment, Joker motioned her closer. “Come here poo.” 

Harley giggled and took her position over him again. 

Joker growled and yanked her down and forward a bit at the same time he pressed his tongue against her, sliding against her folds and finding the spot he wanted to lick. Harley shivered when his tongue pressed against her clitoris. She leaned forward and rubbed her hands down his thin naked torso which she followed with her tongue, sliding against his pale skin. When her fingers reached his boxers she pushed them down just enough to free his erection. She giggled when she felt him jerk and moan against her. She lay partly against him, grabbing his erection and leaned his pale member, which had a very slight rosy coloring to it, toward her and wrapped her lips against the head of his shaft. 

Joker jerked and groaned when she took him into her mouth. The warmth of her lips, the wetness of her tongue as she circled him was divine. More than divine, he realized with a grunt of pleasure...exquisite ecstasy. He grunted as she began to bob her head, his member sliding in and out of her warm, wet mouth, followed by the soft, teasing gentle glide of her teeth combined with the up and down motion of her hand on him. Joker pressed his lips against her before opening his mouth wide to slid his tongue along her tasting the sweet and salty flavor of her. He felt the slight, wet nub of her clitoris and began to flick the tip of his tongue over the sensitive spot. He was rewarded by feeling the rumble of her moan against him as she sucked and licked in slow, sensual movements of her head and tongue. 

Joker slowly moved his hands up her side, following the flow of her hips. He once more mouthed tenderly against her sex, dragging his hands down over her ass just before he sucked at her. 

Harley’s moan was muffled by Joker’s member in her mouth. Her eyes rolled and fluttered with pleasure. She balanced herself on one hand, using her other to slide up and down him, bobbing her head along with the slide of her hand. She sped up, made him hiss and groan, then she slowed down, teasing him tenderly, her lips, tongue and teeth exploded every inch of him. She was torn between the desire to have him cum in her mouth and wanting to climb on top of him and ride her puddin into submission. Choice number two was winning because her body ached to feel him inside her. She groaned and sucked harder, feeling him jerk, followed by the slightly salty flavor of him on her tongue. Harley giggled. 

Joker groaned loudly against her. She was being so wonderfully naughty with that mouth of hers he wasn’t sure how much longer he could hold out. He wanted to make love to her slow and tender, but he also wanted to just fuck...fucking was winning. He grinned and slipped his tongue deep into her. Harley jerked in response followed by a quiver that ran through her body as he licked the sensitive lips around her clitoris. He grinned. 

He loved it when she quivered. 

Joker shifted her hips a little and sucked on her clitoris then in earnest, followed by the quick flick of his tongue, back and forth, then a slow teasing lick followed by another suck. He felt her tense, not just her body, but her lips on his shaft. He grinned caressing her ass with his fingertips while sucking and licking more vigorously. 

Harley whimpered. “Puddin...oh…” 

She grasped his erection and pressed him against her cheek at the same time her hips moved, just a little, in time to Joker’s sucks and flicks agaisnt her until she felt that delicious warm tickle explode into a full orgasm. She cried out, squeezing him hard, pressing him against her cheek as she moaned loudly. 

Joker grinned and gasped with pleasure when she squeezed him. He pressed his teeth into his lower lip, his body tensed and aching to have her, to fuck her, especially when she began to roll her tongue over the tip of his erection, kissing and sucking...she was so talented with her tongue he thought with a goofy grin on his face. She dragged her tongue up the length of him before diving back down on him, sucking him deep into her throat. 

“Uh Harley...sweets please...” He begged. 

Harley released him with a “pop” that had Joker giggling. She grinned and crawled on top of him. Joker grinned running his hands over her as she crawled onto the bed and positioned herself over him. Joker shifted so that he was on the bed better, his head no longer hanging off the side of the mattress, but on the bed so he could better enjoy having her on top of him. 

He grinned watching her as she held him between her legs, the ruffles under the skirt bounced a little as she got into position. Joker reached forward to flip the skirt up so he could watch as she slid down on him. Joker groaned loudly, dragging his teeth over his bottom lip as he reached under her skirt to grab her hips. 

Harley gasped; the feeling of him entering her, piercing her body...filling her...he felt so good, so damn good she thought as she grabbed his knees and began to move. She rolled her hips as she leaned forward, sliding her hands down his legs as she began the slide up and down his, hissing with pleasure at the feel of her puddin inside her. She tightened, squeezing herself around him, holding him tight as she began to pound up and down. 

Joker grabbed her ass with both hands leaning up enough to watch as his erection slid in and out of her, the way her body held onto him, sliding up, leaving him wet and quivering before she slid back down. He groaned, enjoying the bounce of her ass. He squeezed hard knowing he was probably going to leave bruises on her pale skin, but she was driving him crazy with the way she was moving, that jiggle, watching his erection becoming wetter each time she rose up….she was killing him and it was so much fun! Harley squeezed his ankles, arching her back as she bounced, then slowed only to bounce up and down on him for a few seconds. She pushed herself up, arching her body back to lay against him. Joker wrapped an arm around her waist while his other hand snaked down between her legs, his long fingers felt where their bodies met, where his erection arched inside her, the slick wetness of Harley thrilled him. He held her tight, thrusting his hips up at the same time that he rubbed his fingers over her. 

Harley cried out when he touched her and she groaned louder, her arms over her head to grab fistfuls of his green hair as she thrust in little jerks. 

Joker’s breath came fast. He was so close and she felt so good. He rubbed her clitoris a little more vigorously, not too much (he didn’t want to hurt her) but he needed to feel her cum around him, needed to hear her cry out… 

Harley’s panting was rhythmic, intoxicating. He glided his hand from her waist to her breast, wrapping his fingers around one breast then used his long middle fingers to begin to rub her nipple, at the same time rubbing her clitoris and thrusting. It felt good to have her body pressed down on him, her heavy breathing, the dampness of her...he hissed trying to hold on when he felt her tense, her body went tight followed by her cry. 

Joker groaned and hissed. “Yes Harls...yes…” 

Harley gasped as her orgasm burst over her, flooding her. She tensed tightly then her entire body relaxed. She moaned reaching down and covered Joker’s hand with hers, sliding his fingers from her clitoris to where their bodies met. 

“Uh puddin...uh…” she whimpered. 

He grinned when he could feel how wet she was, the slickness of her orgasm prompted him to slide in and out of her faster. 

Harley sat up then, leaned forward to grab his knees and began to move hard and fast, thrusting up and down on him. 

Joker couldn’t hold back if he had wanted to. Her hard, quick movements, the flood of wetness that was her orgasm and that bounce of her ass sent him tumbling over the edge. He cried out as he grasped her hips, thrusting up into her frantically for a time as he burst into her, the shock of his orgasm sent quakes of pleasure through his body before he went limp and dropped his arms to the mattress with a long extended sigh. 

“Damn Harls,” he muttered, his eyes closed. 

Harley collapsed forward, lying against his legs. She had her eyes closed with a happy, if slightly goofy look of delight on her face. 

“Mm….my puddin…” 

Joker, his eyes still closed softly caressed her ass with his fingertips. 

Harley giggled as goosebumps raced over her skin. “You’re still a jerk.” 

Joker laughed. “But you love me.” 

“I love you,” Harley confirmed as she kissed his knees. 

* 

Joker stood in front of the full length mirror, turning one way, then the other as he inspected himself. They had both tied for time getting dressed. Joker had made short work of the corset, while Harley had figured out the tie in no time. Now the tie breaker would have to be at the bar. 

Joker sighed and studied his reflection. He was wearing the outfit Harley had been struggling to get into just moments before, though the blouse did very little for him. He hadn’t done fake breasts since this wasn’t about being a woman, simply dressing up in her clothes, but he was wearing the corset, the skirt, even the ruffled panties she had been wearing only moments before along with a pair of high heeled shiny ruby red boots that zipped up the back of the leg. He had his short green hair up in baby size pig tails with his red lips pursed in concentration. 

His makeup was spot on if he did say so himself, rudy red lips, dark, smokey eyes that made his eyes pop...it was his hair was was giving him problems. He frowned narrowing his eyes when he heard Harley say with a laugh. 

“Lose the pigtails puddin,” Harley said as she came to stand next to him, her reflection in the mirror. Harley was dressed in one of his suits, a dark purple, almost plum colored one with a black button down shirt underneath the vest, a pair of black oxfords minus socks, one of his dark plum colored ties, and suspenders. Since he was quite slim compared to Harley’s roundness, the pants fit her snugly, showing off her round firm hips, the shirt struggling to keep her breasts in place. He had to admit she looked fucking hot. 

She had her hair slicked back and tied at the nap of her neck. The only makeup she wore was a light matte pink lipstick and a little eyeliner around her eyes. Joker frowned with a longing sigh; she looked good enough to eat. At the thought of eating, his grin returned as thoughts of “eating” Harley which made him realize that a skirt was quite good at hiding an erection. 

Harley pulled the ties out of his hair. “Let’s just slick it back like you always do. It’ll look fabulous with your makeup, really brings out the long lines of your face.” 

Joker smiled. “Thank you sweets. You must really want to lose this bet.” 

Harley smacked him in the shoulder. “Shut up! Geez...just want you to look good is all. I mean this needs to at least a bit of a challenge for me…even if just a little bit.” 

Joker made a high pitch sound of insulted shock which only made Harley laugh. She grabbed him by the front of the corset, shoving her fingers between the top of the corset and Joker’s blouse when he turned and yanked him toward her. 

“Come here sweetheart,” she said dropping her voice to make it low and slightly masculine. “I like my men pretty and easy,” she said as she tried not to laugh at herself. Her eyes roamed down his throat to his chest. She reached up and dragged her unpainted nails along his throat. 

“Mm…” she hummed deep in her chest. 

Joker squeaked. “Ooh, I like my girls rough and demanding.” 

Harley giggled, still holding on to the front of the corset as she yanked him in for a kiss. 

Joker grabbed her face, kissed her passionately, his tongue playing gently along hers in a kiss that made Harley’s toes curl. 

He pulled back and grinned. “Ready to lose?” 

Harley purred. “Oh, I know you are.” 

They both laughed and headed out into the Gotham night. 

* 

The bar they chose was a fairly typical one, and as far as they were concerned after being inside for about thirty seconds, boring. There was a bar, brown counter, rows of bottles against a mirrored backdrop. There was a chalkboard with drink specials written on, a tv playing some sporting event that only a few patrons were really watching, but one old man nursing a beer seemed quite intent on the game, a few table and chairs, stools at the bar and a Bob Seger song was playing on an old jukebox. 

Joker and Harley stood in the doorway looking over the crowd. 

Joker made a face. “Not much to work with here.” 

Harley smiled. “Then it will be more of a challenge!” 

A few people looked their way, but this being Gotham, no one took too much notice of them. 

There were several groups of young people playing darts, a few at the bar talking along with what was clearly regulars judging by the way they sat at the bar, with that feel of someone who had become comfortable with their spot, the edge of the counter worn smooth by their leaning on it, the stool shifted and morphed to hold their ass comfortably. 

Harley smiled and walked in immediately heading over to a table where several young women were drinking beer and talking. From first glance, Joker would have guessed college students. He shrugged and headed to the bar where several young men sat. 

Joker took a stool next to the group of three men, straightening out his skirt and smiling as the bartender, a tall burly man with a gut that was clearly all muscle, walked over. The man stopped, looking at Joker and wiping his hands with a towel, lifted a brow at Joker in silent question before he asked. “Whatillitbe?” 

Joker grind. “Can I get a Sex on the Beach?” 

The bartender gave him a deadpan look before he nodded. “Sure thing sweetheart.” 

The bartender moved away to make the drink. Joker pursed his lips then grinned slightly as he noticed one of the men in the group at the bar sneaking looks at him. Good Joker thought, got this bet in the bag. 

* 

Harley had stopped at the table with the three young women, all wearing nice, not too expensive short, summer party dresses looking only mildly out of place in this bar. 

They all looked up at her and smiled. 

Harley grinned. “Buy you ladies a few drinks?” 

One woman, a slight brunette grinned. “Sure honey, you wanna join us?” 

Harley giggled. “I thought you would never ask!” 

She grabbed a chair from a nearby table and pulled it over. She sat, her legs spread, just like she thought a man would. “So, what you ladies up to tonight?” 

One, a pretty blonde shrugged. “Just here to see if we can pick up anyone.” 

The brunette smiled broadly looking Harley up and down. “I do admire a woman who can wear a man’s suit.” 

Harley grinned. “Why thank you.” 

* 

Joker glanced over to where Harley was sitting at the table with the three young women and narrowed his eyes. Harley, her legs crossed and seated comfortably, was laughing and talking with the group of women, seeming to be getting along great with those girls and at least one of them was looking at Harley like she wanted to eat her!!! 

Joker’s eyes narrowed to dangerous slits. 

Fuck he thought, Harley would have a phone number in no time! He might have to step it up here. The guys were looking at him, but not one of them had offered to buy him another drink or had made any move of interest! He crossed his legs, the heeled boots and a garter belt showed off the fine tone of his pale legs as Joker sipped his drink, smiling at the one man who kept looking over at him. Joker winked at the young man as he thought to himself, there was no way he was losing a naked Harley for a week! 

There was no way he was not going to get what he wanted, the Joker never lost!! 

Joker licked his lips seductively after taking another long sip of his drink, for a moment frowning as he wished he had brought his cigarettes, he could have done some interesting lip play on a cigarette to get attention, but he hadn’t be able to figure out where the hell he was going to keep the package and lighter; there were no pockets in this damn outfit! How did Harley live without pockets? Plus the stupid corset was cutting off his air...and he didn’t have any breasts to keep a lighter and package of cigarettes in place. Joker frowned in irritation. 

Joker was just beginning to stew on the fact that he wasn’t getting any attention when one of the men, tall, slender with thick black hair and light brown eyes that stood out against his dark skin, switched position with his friend, taking the seat closer to Joker. 

He grinned. “Hey hot stuff, I’m John.” 

Joker smiled. “Hello John.” 

John grinned. “What’s a pretty boy like you doing in a place like this?” 

Joker picked up his drink and took a sip through his straw before he murmured. “Mm...I ask myself that all the time John, all the time.” 

* 

Harley laughed as she leaned back in her chair, her arms across the back of it, her legs crossed, as one of the girls at the table, Janice, told a joke about elephants and penises. Harley glanced over at her puddin, confident that either Arlen or Ashley would be giving her their numbers or maybe even wanting to take her home, a sure win...when she went still. There was a man talking to him. Okay...fine. Harley felt her jealousy spike and ebb...no, it was nothing to worry about...but then the man reached over and laid his hand on Joker’s thigh, then he leaned in close to her puddin...too close. 

Harley, who had one hand wrapped around a bottle of beer, squeezed so tightly that the glass squealed in protest. One of the women at the table, Arlen, reached out and laid a hand on Harley’s wrist. “Honey, you okay?” 

“Yeah Harl, you all right?” The brunette who had initially told Harley she could sit with them, Ashley, put her hand on Harly’s knee, leaned forward, her hand crept up Harley’s thigh. 

“You can tell us.” Ashley smiled. 

Arlen smiled and stroked a finger over Harley’s ear. “Sure you can, you can tell us anything.” 

Harley smirked. Oh, she was getting some phone numbers tonight after all. While she wanted to jump up and cut that man’s hand off for daring to touch her puddin, Harley kept herself under control. She was going to win...first get Joker to admit she had won--then cut off that dude’s hand. 

* 

Joker had grinned when the man talking to him, John, stroked his thigh. Joker glanced sideways ready to grin in triumph at Harley, knowing that not only was he about to win the bet, but it was going to be make Harley immensely jealous; but instead Joker stiffened when he saw one of the women at the table where Harley sat put a hand on Harley’s thigh, while another woman leaned so close she could have licked Harley’s face. 

Joker pressed his lips together in annoyance, building anger and white hot jealousy. No one was allowed to touch Harley, no one! This was about phone numbers and drinks, not handsy hands! 

John squeezed his thigh, drawing Joker’s attention back to him. “So gorgeous, how about I buy you a drink?” 

Joker nearly jumped up and yelled, “HA! I win,” but stopped himself. He started to say he would love another drink, but his eyes were drawn to Harley...just as one of the women at the table leaned in and kissed Harley’s ear. 

* 

Harley giggled. She was ecstatic! She was going to win! That kiss on her ear was proof! She had won! Even if she didn’t get phone numbers she had done one better, but that was the moment Joker stood up startling the man next to him whose hand had been traveling up Joker’s thigh 

“All right that’s enough!!” He yelled producing a gun from seemingly nowhere surprising Harley. She hadn’t seen him strap on a gun before they left and she hadn’t any idea where he had been keeping it up till now, but suddenly, he was armed. 

Joker stomped over in his heels looking like a combination of Dr. Frankenfurter and Prince, the gun held out in front of him. The bar had gone quiet as Joker walked over and aimed his gun at Arlen. “Get your hands off my girl,” he snarled. 

Arlen looked confused. “What? But…” 

Joker snarled, “Wrong answer.” And promptly shot her in the face. 

The bar erupted into screams. 

Harley began to laugh as the other two women screamed, quickly followed by Joker shooting them both. 

Harley stood up with a bright smile. “You know this means I won.” 

Joker rolled his eyes, but he was smiling. “Fine, you win. Whaddaya say Harls, let’s burn this place. I hate it here.” 

Harley stood on her tip toes and kissed him hard on the mouth. 

Joker growled happily and wrapped an arm around her waist and turned to the man he had been letting flirt with him. “Sorry John.” 

He handed the handgun to Harley. Harley squealed. “Oh thanks puddin!” 

John (who hadn’t taken the opportunity to flee while the women were being shot) stood with his hands up. “Look I don’t know what kind of twisted game you’re playing, but…” 

Harley shot him. “No one flirts with my puddin but me.” 

Harley gave the gun back to Joker. “You know, this bet wasn’t a very good idea on our parts.” 

Joker shook his head. “No darling, I don’t think it was…” He turned and shot several of the bottles of liquor on the wall causing them to explode in a hail of brightly colored glass, liquid exploding onto the wall and floor. People were running for the doors as Joker, his arm snug around Harley’s waist, walked over to the bar where the bartender, who had ducked down, popped up with a shotgun. 

“I want you two…” but he never finished before Joker shot him in the face. 

Joker frowned. “You know Harley dear, that was a bit of a waste. He made a really good Sex on the Beach.” 

“Really?” Harley asked and Joker indicated his drink on the bar using the barrel of his gun. Harley picked it up holding the straw as she took a sip. “Oh that is good.” 

Joker shrugged. “Oh well.” Joker frowned then cursed. “Damn it.” 

Harley, still sipping the drink and watching people tripping over themselves to leave glanced sideways at her puddin. “What’s wrong?” 

“I don’t have any matches,” Joker pouted. 

Harley set her drink down. “Hold on puddin.” 

She hurried around the bar and squatted down. Joker was watching people trying to get out the one door, occasionally shooting someone then mentally counting his bullets when Harley popped up with a box of matches. 

“TaDa!”She said. 

Joker laughed. “That’s my girl!” 

Harley beamed and lit one of the matches. She held the flame up for a moment, watching it with a manic grin as she let it burn bright before she dropped i with a flick of her fingers on to the spilled alcohol. She chose a particularly strong bourbon and it only took a few seconds to begin spreading. 

Harley giggled and hurried back again, tucking herself under Joker’s arm which he had up waiting for her. She wrapped her arm around his waist and the two of them started to walk for the door. Whoever wasn’t lying on the floor dead or bleeding had already fled the bar. Behind them the flames began to lick up the wall. 

Joker sighed then winced. “I don’t know how you do anything in these heels Harls. All that jumping around you do? I’m impressed. I mean I always was, but now that I know what these heels feel like...and the corset?” He shook his head smiling. “You are amazing.” 

Harley beamed with pleasure giving his waist a squeeze. “Your clothes are really comfortable puddin. I like them.” 

Joker laughed. “Thank you my dear, you look stunning in them.” 

Harley grinned. “Thank you puddin. So...who won?” 

“I say we call it a draw and just spend the weekend, naked in bed giving each other spa treatments.” Joker glanced down at her lifting his brows. “What do you say pumpkin?” 

Harley giggled. “Can I paint your nails green? I got this green sparkle polish, it would looks so good on you!” 

“Only if you promise to do my toes too.” Joker smiled as they started to walk down the street. 

Harley laughed. “Well of course!” 

Joker smiled. “Think we could get Bob and Frost to do massages?” he asked as they headed down the sidewalk. 

Harley frowned. “Bob yes...Frost...maybe...let’s make him and Bob wear grass skirts, then we could pretend we’re in the tropics.” 

Joker laughed. “Ooo, drinks with the little umbrellas!” 

They both started to laugh together as they disappeared into the Gotham night.


End file.
